Oh why have you been hiding from me?

You all know how I feel about FB. And yet it seems there is no way to escape it. What I mean is that these lovely pictures below were taken with by little sister. And I had to go onto her FB page to get it. GRRRR!
But, on the upside, these little gems are now longer being kept hidden from me.

Check out this one for instance. Cute Mason with his even cuter uncle McKay... although this is a particularly strange face he is making

And this little girl spent as much time as she could outside playing in this car. Her mom should take more care of her. This girl would go and sit inside of the car when it was full of water from the winter rains. What kind of mom lets their daughter do that?!

And these are my sisters. This is in in real life. We laugh. And we laugh a lot. This picture is capturing us laughing at our dad and his "amazing" picture taking skills. 

oh there we are. Much more dignified. Except my head looks extra large. Like a mushroom. Its the hat. I promise.

I am a real mom.

I have always joked that I am not a real mom yet. Yes, you may smile and you may even guffaw at this. (I am sure that is a real word). But as of the wee hours of Sunday morning dawned, I was inducted into real mom-hood.
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I know. I became a mother at 2:33am on September 12, 2007. I spent 9 miserable months feeding and nurturing this other living soul inside of me. I went into the hospital as one person and left as two. And still, I was not a real mom.
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I nursed and nursed and loved it. I changed diapers that had exploded but it was the cute infant poop that is my breast milk to begin with. I would sing and rock and stay up all night trying to get her to sleep. I have cried and wondered "What am I doing?!" and then looked down upon this particularly beautiful sleeping baby and wonder "How did I get to be so blessed?" But still, I was not a real mom.
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I was not a real mom because I still did basically whatever I wanted to. We went on an almost two week trip to Scotland when she was 6 months old. We have traveled to New Orleans, Vegas, Hoover Dam, Utah, California and all the other big cities in Texas with this charming child.
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And then I noticed people would say "Yes Ma'am" or "Here you go Ma'am" or "Excuse me Ma'am". I would think. Weird. I am a Ma'am now. When did that happen?
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Coming back from Christmas the little darling completely and entirely puked. Why? Well, I made what I like to call a "stupid-mom-move". I gave a recovering from sickness toddler a full bottle of milk. Why? because she was thirsty. And That's what I had. I am passing out "free appetizer" cards to P.F. Change to the Dad and two boys behind us who got her second-time-up milk on their packs and the was-sleeping man next to me to pacify the situation. Luckily, they were all very very kind and very helpful. As she is heaving all of this just drank milk up and out, a little voice sounding something akin to my own mothers says "milk+sick baby=BAD". The dad I mentioned seemed not to mind. He must be a real dad I think. But I am not a real mom. I am getting closer though. Puke on the plane is most assuredly one step closer. It has to be. Thats what I kept telling myself as I tried to feel embarrassed but mostly really tired and now, really wet.
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Then it happened. Almost 17 months into this adventure of motherhood it happened. For a week or so now Jaed has been off her bottle. She has been in her own bed for months. And she has been sleeping through the night for months. On a typical morning, I sleep in until 9. I am not a real mom yet so I can do that. She is up earlier but she is content  to play until I can rise up from my cozy, warm cocoon. What a good girl I think to myself each morning. However, this morning was different. And oh how I wish I had pictures.

You see, I woke up at 8 and thought we would spend the morning playing and make breakfast for McKay while letting him sleep in. I open the door and knwo what will await me. My doll of a daughter. She holds her hands and smiles real big and makes this sound that reminds me of a monkey but... what is that smell?!!!

My eyes get big as it dawns on me. I open the door even more and survey the scene. Jaed who had run to the door turns around and it is confirmed. POOP! EVERWHERE!

Yes, I am a real mom. I laughed when I saw this scene of brown before me. And my sweet girl was so good to just hold her hands and not play in it as I have heard of kids doing. It was on her three blankets. It was on her play rug. It was on a few toys and a certain stuffed chimpunk. It was on every part of her lower body.
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So much for playing and breakfast. But we will stilllet daddy sleep in. Becuase now, I am a real mom. I can do this. And I can even laugh about this in the moment. Bring it on toddler. You have met your match. I hope.

The devastation of Haiti and God

I saw this post today about "why God allows natural disasters and tragedies". It was very thought provoking. I sat down and put my thoughts together on how I would respond to such a question. I posted a comment for the BBC but I fear it will be too long. So I have put down my response here. This is a question the world can't answer because they don't and can't understand God. Latter Day Saints don't have all the answers, but we have many because of the truths God has revealed to us through modern day revelation. I would invite you all to read this article from the BBC and share it with friends and family and then share your own response and testimony of God's love. If you have questions about anything I have said here, I would be happy to answer the best I can.
This is my attempt at a response:
Some look at tragedies like this and see the absence of God. I, however, can see God in the midst of such tragedy and destruction. God is manifested in the touching stories you hear of generosity, of service, and the small little miracles that are so often told for years after the tragedy.
The problem with this and other analyses on this subject is that they define God and His workings within the scope of man's very limited understanding. They use Man's flawed perspective of life (and death) to describe the actions of a perfect, all-knowing being and in so doing limit the life of the soul to just this time on Earth. He tells us, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Why does God allow natural disasters? Haiti is a very poor (and corrupt) place. A belief in God entails a belief in an afterlife. How do we know that God wasn't being merciful in letting those individuals escape a horrible life ahead by sending them to a better, happier place? How do we know God didn't stop the disaster from being worse than it was? How many tragedies has God prevented from happening? How many times have we been inspired to do something that saved someone from injury? Would we recognize those for the acts of God that they are? No. What evidence do you have that there is no God? that His hand isn't in the recovery effort?
Also moral goodness cannot exist without evil. Just as there can be no punishment without law. There must be opposition in all things. God knows what we are made of, perhaps he wants us to learn what we're made of. In a world where there is no sadness, tragedy, or evil, we wouldn't have that opportunity. I think most of us would agree that we grow the most during adversity. None of us have the answers, but, as the prophet Nephi of the Book of Mormon said “I know that God loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things” (1 Nephi 11:16–17) God alone has "taken upon him our infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people”.

A picture of us

kissing him never-ever gets old

Four of the five girls

random hair in the face.

the grandkids on the tractor. Funny. Only one is looking at the camera

this one is in my top 2. Its just a field behind my parents house. And those are weeds. Aren't they just beautiful? The coloration is breathtaking. So are the two people :)

Married over 55 years. Thats a free ticket to heaven I know it is. This is my "Papa" Reed Poulsen. I love that name Reed. And my Gram and best friend Emma-Lou. I love that name too

My second all time favorite pictures. I can even see her bright pink baby legs. I lost those boots since this picture though. This was one of the natural ones and as you can tell turned out to be a perfect 10

I didn't mean to laugh! I just felt weird being so close and someone takign a picture. But this is my other favorite because it shows that we laugh a lot. And we laugh an inappropriate moments. WE = ME

McKay hates this one because he thinks he has a scowl on. It was bright that day!

As you can imagine, Jaed was getting fussy. We took a few moments to get our happy baby back and unbeknown  to us, Jared was snapping away. I am glad he was.

Thank you to Jared Paulsen Photography in California for taking these great shots. If you are anywhere near Sacramento, you need to have him take your pictures.

Make it {all} Myne

That's right folks, go ahead. Click on http://makeitmyne.blogspot.com/ or this. I dare you. And for the extra adventurous, become a follower or leave a comment. I don't mind you blog stalkers there. But be warned, since I am the master-mind behind it, you will just love each and every delicious post. When you decide to host a dinner or have a birthday party or plan a wedding, forget the ghostbusters, just call Make it Myne Celebrations.... a work of many years of schooling put into practice.

Sick as a dog...better make that a pack of wolves.

So I am back. One of my resolutions was to be a better blogger (this has nothing to do with Makana's recent post; I actually started this before she posted hers). Well we all came back to Houston from Sacramento sick. You wouldn't recognize it as Houston though with how cold it has been lately. The other night it dipped below 20! I think that said an all time record for that day in Houston. It's actually been happening all across the South. What's that Al Gore? Huh? You want to give back the Nobel and all the money you've earned? How generous of you! Seriously, I just don't understand how those clowns can go on fooling everyone when we have record breaking cold temperatures like this. I was told recently by a friend to do "some science reading" because of my skepticism. Whatever.

So since we had all been sick, I got to thinking about health care and doctors specifically lately. Jaedyn got sick in Sacramento and then I got sick in Sacramento and then Makana threw up in Sacramento and then Jaedyn threw up on the plane ride home and then we all got worse after we got home. Basically we have been sick all week. Jaedyn wasn't sleeping well at all and woke up with a high fever for several consecutive nights. It has been miserable. I'm not telling this for sympathy, I don't want sympathy and I'll delete your comment if you give sympathy:) . I just want to give the background for my thoughts. People who know have asked what the doctor has advised for Jaedyn. Well that's just it. We have avoided taking her to the doctor because it really hasn't been more than a fever and most times the doctor doesn't know more than what a quick Internet search can give you.

My problem is that a majority of people see doctors as having a wealth of information so that when they get sick the doctor will be able to diagnose them with 100% accuracy and then prescribe medicine that will instantly cure them. The new Dr. Pepper commercials are telling of this fact. You know the ones where the celebrity "doctors" tell us "trust me, I'm a doctor." Of course they mean it in a humorous way because none of them are actually doctors, but the thinking behind it is that a doctor just knows. This wouldn't bother me except even if they can't do anything for you, they still take your money and it's a lot of money. You basically have to sell your one foot to save the other. Furthermore, I pay about $365 a month for insurance that basically guards against catastrophe. It has a $3500 per person deductible, which come to think of it isn't that hard to get to the way hospitals charge now days.

JD and I had this conversation tonight. He got this rash all over his back that he thinks was from cologne. He looked up some of the symptoms on the Internet and apparently didn't do the right search because he ended up going to the ER at 2 in the morning. They waited 4 hours to finally see a Doctor and when they did the Doctor didn't have the slightest clue as to what it was. JD told him that he thought it was the cologne that he had tried on and the Doctor said "Oh yeah, that's probably it." He then gave him some Benadryl and that was it. He was more than happy to take the $400 that JD was charged for his "knowledge" though. I'm actually surprised that some enterprising individuals haven't capitalized more on this. I've got a few ideas myself, too bad I'm not a doctor. Now don't get the wrong idea. I'm not anti-doctor (or medicine); I believe they do a tremendous work and they know a lot more about the subject than me. I was just thinking about the silliness of the situation. It's just one more problem that we'll never be able to solve ourselves. Another reason I enthusiastically anticipate Christ's governing of the Earth.

Come to think of it, I actually kind of get a taste of this as a chemical engineer. In my two years of "professional work", I have been approached on occasion so to impart my omnipotent knowledge on an engineering or chemical subject. Some people think that if there is a question about any chemical that I will know exactly what to do. After all, isn't that what I went to school for? Maybe I ought to take advantage of that... "Trust me, I'm a chemical engineer." Ah, doesn't have the same ring to it.

Thoughts on the Treadmill: Part I

Remember this post here about my perfect morning goal? Well... today I have to admit was the first day I have actually gotten to do the exercise part. 30 minutes and 2 miles on the treadmill later, I was finished. Meaning: I had actually done it. I felt that as I stepped off all shaky and feeling that the ground was still moving (think of how it feel to stand in the ocean as the waves wash up), I knew I could conquer the world. Well, at least my world of toddler-hood.

As I had the baby monitor plugged into my ears and was watching (reading) the news on the TV, I had a lot of thoughts. And as we all know, my thoughts are very important and most certainly life-changing.

I thought about my life. I like to think about myself. Not in a selfish or prideful manner although I would not put it past me, but in a how did I get to the point to where I have a toddler and my more padded undersides are jiggly!!!??

Three years ago I was participating in a triathlon (it was a sprint)

Now I participate in "vacuum-it-up-fast-close-the-door-to-the-bathroom-fast" and "its-3pm-I-should-change-and-shower-and-make-dinner" races.

So what happened to take me from that to this? (disclosure: I LOVE LOVE LOVE my situation. I just had these thoughts while on the treadmill. Hence the title)

Three years ago this was me: Wife of one, student of english and tourism and marriage and family, nanny, late night movie watching/book reading, overly confident public speaker, hundreds of friends, and sweet as honey gal.

Now this is me: wife of one, mommy of one 16m old, student of marriage and family but in a different way, late night dishwasher, not-at-all good public speaker, a few close friends, even sweeter as honey as also can become as mean as a the queen bee.

I used to be pretty good at yoga and ran up mountainsides every morning. I was firm. The all-over-feel-good-in-a-swimsuit kind of firm. Like these gals below

Now This is my version of yoga: { if you can't read it go here }

And I can stop tears and mend cuts in no time flat but as far as the running up mountainsides, it is more a metaphor now than an actual event.

You may wonder what brought this on. Is it a mid-life crisis? Is my sweet friend losing it? Neither friends. In reality, I love that I will be 30 in 3 years. What a milestone! And the party planner in me already has ideas of how to celebrate. I think it has been a combination of that post I mentioned, swimsuit shopping, checkbook balancing, diaper-changing, and not tanning. You see, in just a week, we will be on this.

So, I started tanning (at least for my free two week trial at Darque-tan). I found a swimsuit I LOVE here and here and I have been asked to plan some events... a few parties and even a wedding. All things I love and even went to school to know how to do. I went to school in Hawaii where tanning and cute swimsuits and having fun is a requirement, not an elective.

As my 30 minutes on the treadmill finished up and I guzzled the water (i know, bad move), I was just suddenly overcome with the love that I feel in my life. No matter what has become a little soft over time or how my life has taken turns, I have love from the hubbs, from my little one, from my dear family and consistent friends and most importantly, I have love from my Father in Heaven. I know my purpose here on earth and I know I lived in His presence before. And while my mountains are now just imaginary, that is ok. I know that He is always there to cheer me along even if I never run another Triathlon again.

{the writer of this post and her hubbs will be running in a race this year together. Uhm, an actual race, not the race of life. More on that later. And thank you for listening to my thoughts)

Facebook or Blogger?

Its 2am and my phone buzzes. I am far away in dream land and vaguely hear it. The next morning, I have 12 new text messages. I think "was there an emergency?" and even think "did i miss something" which is prone to happen. As I scroll down I realize that they are all wall posts to Facebook. They are Status changes such as these

i'm wide awake in vegas with no where to gamble

Pasta party tonight

COPY THIS INTO YOUR STATUS AND SEE WHAT PEOPLE RATE YOU!

officially alone.

Like a drifter I was born to walk alon

off to two consults. I'm excited!!

sooooo sleepy

Those are just a few of the "status posts" some of my sweet and dear friends have made. Needless to say I took that app off of my phone. And it got me thinking. Whats the big deal with Facebook? What is so addicting about it? And what does most of those mean anyhow?

Now I am a blogger. That must be obvious. And my guess is that you are too. Most people are. Now how many use Facebook? From the article found here, "We will welcome our 200 millionth active user to Facebook some time today,"

Now I did read the whole article. And I do believe that the creators are smart, ultra-techy, and have created a global network. I know that Facebook does allow for networking where before it was impossible. I even know that a lot of companies when looking at applicants, will search for them on Facebook, Blogger, and Twitter. What kind of people are they really? I read an article a few months back about how this woman had gotten hired and fired within the same day because of her status update on Facebook that read something to the effect "I hate my new job." How does that help her network? But that is a whole different subject so let me get back on track. I think Facebook, for the most part, is misused.

I do not often look at Facebook. By often I mean once a week, maybe twice if I know I am getting a message. But since all of that can be sent to my email or my phone, it is more like once a week. Blogger allows me to more fully express my feelings. It provides an outlet for my ideas and allows me to "journal" my life. Some may argue that Blogging takes too much time. Did you know you can actually get blog through your phone the same way you post a status on Facebook. Yep. And it is FREE. Read more here. I can upload pictures to go along with my story or use that picture to express how I feel. I can connect my friends and read about what they are doing or how they are handling life. Being away from family allows me to "see" what they have been up to. I recently sent an email to my sis Shelby. I asked her for some baby bump pictures since she is expecting soon. (Thank you for posting the pictures!) I can add music to play when you visit and the best part? Well that is easy. I can put it into book form for my posterity.

You will have significant experiences. I hope you will write them down and keep a record of them, that you will read them from time to time and refresh your memory of those meaningful and significant things. Some may be funny. Some may be significant only to you. Some of them may be sacred and quietly beautiful. Some may build one upon another until they represent a lifetime of special experiences."
{Gordon B. Hinckley}

I recently (meaning yesterday) put this as my status update on Facebook. "What is it about Facebook. People who were faithful bloggers now Facebook and forget to blog! Don't you know you can blog post via text message? Sheesh! Come back to the light!" This was in response to a little frustration I felt at old friends who used to be faithful bloggers (or at least once-every-three-months) have no longer posted anything. Yep, you know who you are. And sure enough, I go to Facebook and there they are. Posting pictures and playing games etc. One excuse to not blog is that "it takes up so much time". Oh Really? And how long do you spend playing games on the computer I ask.

Here are the responses to my status update. Which were unexpected and gratefully appreciated and which inspired this post. Yes this one. The one that will go into my book at the end of the year.

Elisabeth Lynn WilliamsI finally posted :) I'm back on my roll..

McKay HansenBlogs take much more time. Facebook is quick and easy. Did you forget that we live in the microwave/fast food era?

Karie Bailey Hubnik I actually love to blog more but have been swamped. Rest assured that my blog will be updated soon! :o)

Trish Tupou

i concur with mckay

Marie Hamilton

I try to once a week, although many times it's very cut and dried. It comes in handy to have recorded some of the stuff at times.

Nancy Shay Ruegner

We don't blog and we don't write letters like we should. Will your children even know what your handwriting was like. Just another thought.

Liselle Parry

blogging takes WAY more time. every time i blog i spend at least 3 constant hours at the computer.. probably becaue i like to be thorough and i hate not having all the details.. i realy need to be a better blogger though :)

Karie Bailey Hubnik

Ok, so here is my two cents. Personally, like I said I prefer blogging over Facebook for several reasons. Although it is time consuming it makes me feel more connected with my friends than a quick one or two line update like "I'm getting ready to eat a cake" or something like that as we see on Facebook. Don't get me wrong Facebook has it's benefits (obviously I use it) however it lacks the opportunity to maintain and build strong relationships, in other words I see it as a glorified form of texting, as opposed to a blog that dips into the personal moments in one's life sharing wisdom, experiences, happiness, sadness,in a more detailed manner. There of course needs to be a balance, like I said I don't think Facebook is a bad thing, but I'll bet there are a lot of people out there that spend oodles of hours on Facebook. My friend Shauna calls it wastebook because once she gets on she can't get off. I loved the recent talk in the church magazine that encouraged balance because we need to maintain relationships beyond texting/facebook, etc and make sure we can actually hold a conversation longer than two sentences! LOL, it cracked me up. Also, since most of my friends are busy mothers I love reading their blogs, because they are more like journals, their insight and wisdom makes me feel I'm not alone in this big journey we call life, which I definitely don't get that feeling from facebook. It's funny as many friend's as we can have on FB it still seems so impersonal. LOL. Anyway, there ya go, two cents from Karie. Don't give up on the blog Makana!

Karie Bailey Hubnik

Nancy, I loved your thoughts on the lost art of letter writing. I agree. For fun my kids have been penpals with some of my friend's children, just so they can actually learn to write a letter, mail it and anticipate getting one back.

Karie Bailey Hubnik

now this would be a great blog post.........LOL

Nancy Shay Ruegner

I wish we didn't make life so busy. It is all about choices I guess. I know I need to try harder with communication. Good comment Makana. Thanks Karie.

Now please don't misinterpret. I think Facebook is a great place. But I heartily agree with Nancy and Kari that the art of penmanship and even spelling and grammar are quickly dying out. Will my children ever know what it is like to write out "by the way" rather than BTW? Will all of their memories turn into 142 characters and be lost in cyberspace?

I am sure I have much more to say on this but I am also sure that if you actually have read this post all the way through, you are about ready to stop. Especially if you disagree with me. But I do think that before you disagree, give blogger a chance. And don't worry, I have disabled the feature on my phone. No more 2am buzzes.

Like I promised...

I know that I have been holding you in suspense. But, the time has arrived for my unveiling. Oh, you will just love this and love how crafty I am :)

Project: Piano Bench

Finished Piano bench

Before and after (the before is on the right side). Made 4 of these. Any ideas of what to do with the left over material from the pillows? Maybe scripture bags or something. Or Kleenex holders.

I know you want to touch the material. Go ahead, visualize. :) Its brown velvety pattern things on silk-like taffeta. Nice... very nice.

I found heaven

Heaven (hĕv'ən): A condition or place of great happiness, delight, or pleasure

I went to this fabric store and as I entered I knew I had died. See why?

Mountains of cotton, silk, taffeta and dangley-jewel thingies.

Even my little one did not want to go

I got two special yards of material. And it was bliss. I will post later what I made. You do have to agree, this is heaven. (especially the prices!)

Baby's Beautiful bow holder

I have been looking for a practical bow holder. The top drawer can now be used for other things, like bubbles and hiding candy.

Start with an ugly $1 frame

add a coat of spray paint (already looking good)

Add ribbon (mine is left over silver silk ribbon)

And presto!

note: I did not think of this on my own. I know, its a surprise with how talented I am. I wish I remembered where I saw this idea at. So, thank you whoever you are

and stay tuned... there are 3 more crafts I finished

Perfect Morning

I was looking at these pictures from Time. I was also reading in Alma 1 and it stuck me that it is so important to have something you are rooted in. Something that really matters. There is much to be fearful about and yet there is so much good to be had and even more to be given out to those in need. But I need to start with me.

My new years resolution for this year is to have a perfect morning. Don't roll your eyes and please stop laughing. It is a perfect morning schedule. What does that mean? It is really simple actually.

When I was serving a mission for my church , (I am LDS or "Mormon"). We had what we called a perfect morning schedule. I served for 18 months is Nebraska, part of which was spent at Winter Quarters.

Every morning, for 18 months I would wake up at 6:30a and exercise, get ready for the day, pray, study the scriptures, and be out the door by 10a. I was always very tired due to our rigorous day and by 10:30p I was asleep, after writing in my journal. And I was complete and felt accomplished.

Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE LOVE my life. But I am not prideful enough to see where I can use some improvement. One of the things we taught as missionaries was about goal setting. When people wanted to stop smoking, one thing we would tell them was to tell other people about this goal. It keep you accountable. And so, here I am making myself accountable and welcoming my 2010 goal with open, (and no longer frozen) arms. Wish me luck

My pants stink

It's almost 2pm. My baby is still sleeping which makes me happy since she has needed a good long nap, and I finally changed my pants.

At 10:30am I decided I should get out of bed. I, still in my $2 Old Navy pink Halloween pajamas, took down our Christmas decorations. My house feels a lot less cheerful. I did leave up the snowflakes to dangle from the celling. They make me smile when I walk under them.

I surfed the Internet, fell in love with our family pictures (see one below), and chatted with my aunt, sister, and sisnlaw who is expecting.

That's when I decided I should change. I am going out to grab a .99 sandwich and I should do it in normal clothes... not pink pj's and not ones that have skulls all over them. (there are hearts too). So I pick up my jeans off the closet floor and am ready to go when this scent assails me. What is that?! Hmm... maybe I just need perfume. Hmm... maybe I need to spray the closet. What is that?! Oh yes, I remember, those jeans are really dirty. When is the last time I washed them anyhow. Gross. That was gross. Dirty laundry really stinks.

And now my baby is finally awake and I have on clean clothes and my sweet and thoughtful friend Niki sent me this post. (i think everyone should read it) After reading it I am less grossed out about my dirty jeans and less sad about my not-so-cheerful-house and totally ok with sleeping in until 10:30a. I better go brush my teeth now. It is 2p y'know

A time and a season

One if the hardest concepts for me to find peace with is that everything has its own time and season. The Bible tells us so. And yet even with my firm belief in the Bible, I still struggle with this concept and will confess.... I want it all. I want to do everything and see everything. I want to be Joan Cleaver/Joan of Arc/Amelia Erhart/Julia&Julia/whatever-else-I-am-missing. Slowing down is hard for me to do and even harder for me to be ok with. Until today. Until this moment. I will try to share what I have learned. Bare with me as these seemingly separate instances connect.

#1. These past 10 days I spent in CA with my parents. We live on a farm of sorts (for lack of a better description). They are AT LEAST 20 minutes from anything and have dial-up Internet. And I can't forget the two remaining chickens. Time slows down there. Its nice

#2. Jaed Maliana has been sick. I think it started with me. Our entire trip she was sick. There was nothing I could do but let it run its course. She has finally gotten better after throwing up three times, one of which was on the plane. She slept for the last 16 hours. From about 3am until 11a she has only wanted me. Yes, i climbed right in her toddler bed with her and just held her.

#3. When I left to go to CA, I knowingly left my apt a disaster. I am not sure how but it was mess and one that I was not looking forward to cleaning. My friend picked us all up from the airport and dropped us off at home. I walked up the three flights of stairs and into my aprtment

(my body smelling of baby puke and totally exhausted), and noticed something was different. It smelled so nice and even in the dark I could tell that the pillows were on the couch... not the floor where they had been left. I went from room to room only to discover that it had all been cleaned! I nearly cried with gratitude.

#4. Through the night with the sickly one as mentioned before, she would periodically open up her beautiful blue eyes and just look at me before going back into dream/fever land. She only wanted me. She had to be touching me at all times which was quite uncomfortable to say the least. At one point in the night the toddler bed just was not working out so we moved into the big bed. That worked for about an hour before she was sprawled out between McKay and I and smacking us both with her hands and too-large-for-her-age-feet (16m and a size 7). It was those moments though when she would look up at me and snuggle in closer that all of these events clicked.

I need to slow down. I need to put God first, Family second and everything else can just melt away.

Unfortunately, my 2009 year was the opposite. And so with a baby nudging me that I need to go read some books to her, I bid farewell to the craziness that was 2009 and Aloha to 2010. A year of love, laughter, cruises, babies, weddings, family, and growth. To me I wish a year of real, lasting personal change. This is my season to become a real disciple of my Savior.

PF Changs. What does your fortune cookie say?

Sorry. I can't even tell the fortune cookie story. You had to have been there. In the past, I have almost (i say almost because i do not truly really hate anything) hated eating at P.F. Changs. My big bro Clif was determined to change my mind. So we called up the crew and went out to see what was so great about P.F. Changs

(above: Lisa Kenney, super-good-looking guy-I went home with, me, Tricia, Kalea, Clif, Becca)

These are people in my life that i really love and mean so much to me

Ok... you have got to check out this cake! (Apparently I think it is going to attack me or something. Seriously, what AM I doing?!!)

I just think Tricia Is beautiful... almost as beautiful as this piece of moist, rich, choco cake

I am saying through a smile "is it on video"? "Check and see" "What is wrong?"

It was most excellent. We started off with drinks (two and a half rounds) :), had two great appetizers, six different entree's and three desserts. Why yes, I did have to be rolled out to the car. Thank you for asking.