A time and a season

One if the hardest concepts for me to find peace with is that everything has its own time and season. The Bible tells us so. And yet even with my firm belief in the Bible, I still struggle with this concept and will confess.... I want it all. I want to do everything and see everything. I want to be Joan Cleaver/Joan of Arc/Amelia Erhart/Julia&Julia/whatever-else-I-am-missing. Slowing down is hard for me to do and even harder for me to be ok with. Until today. Until this moment. I will try to share what I have learned. Bare with me as these seemingly separate instances connect.

#1. These past 10 days I spent in CA with my parents. We live on a farm of sorts (for lack of a better description). They are AT LEAST 20 minutes from anything and have dial-up Internet. And I can't forget the two remaining chickens. Time slows down there. Its nice

#2. Jaed Maliana has been sick. I think it started with me. Our entire trip she was sick. There was nothing I could do but let it run its course. She has finally gotten better after throwing up three times, one of which was on the plane. She slept for the last 16 hours. From about 3am until 11a she has only wanted me. Yes, i climbed right in her toddler bed with her and just held her.

#3. When I left to go to CA, I knowingly left my apt a disaster. I am not sure how but it was mess and one that I was not looking forward to cleaning. My friend picked us all up from the airport and dropped us off at home. I walked up the three flights of stairs and into my aprtment

(my body smelling of baby puke and totally exhausted), and noticed something was different. It smelled so nice and even in the dark I could tell that the pillows were on the couch... not the floor where they had been left. I went from room to room only to discover that it had all been cleaned! I nearly cried with gratitude.

#4. Through the night with the sickly one as mentioned before, she would periodically open up her beautiful blue eyes and just look at me before going back into dream/fever land. She only wanted me. She had to be touching me at all times which was quite uncomfortable to say the least. At one point in the night the toddler bed just was not working out so we moved into the big bed. That worked for about an hour before she was sprawled out between McKay and I and smacking us both with her hands and too-large-for-her-age-feet (16m and a size 7). It was those moments though when she would look up at me and snuggle in closer that all of these events clicked.

I need to slow down. I need to put God first, Family second and everything else can just melt away.

Unfortunately, my 2009 year was the opposite. And so with a baby nudging me that I need to go read some books to her, I bid farewell to the craziness that was 2009 and Aloha to 2010. A year of love, laughter, cruises, babies, weddings, family, and growth. To me I wish a year of real, lasting personal change. This is my season to become a real disciple of my Savior.