I am a real mom.

I have always joked that I am not a real mom yet. Yes, you may smile and you may even guffaw at this. (I am sure that is a real word). But as of the wee hours of Sunday morning dawned, I was inducted into real mom-hood.
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I know. I became a mother at 2:33am on September 12, 2007. I spent 9 miserable months feeding and nurturing this other living soul inside of me. I went into the hospital as one person and left as two. And still, I was not a real mom.
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I nursed and nursed and loved it. I changed diapers that had exploded but it was the cute infant poop that is my breast milk to begin with. I would sing and rock and stay up all night trying to get her to sleep. I have cried and wondered "What am I doing?!" and then looked down upon this particularly beautiful sleeping baby and wonder "How did I get to be so blessed?" But still, I was not a real mom.
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I was not a real mom because I still did basically whatever I wanted to. We went on an almost two week trip to Scotland when she was 6 months old. We have traveled to New Orleans, Vegas, Hoover Dam, Utah, California and all the other big cities in Texas with this charming child.
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And then I noticed people would say "Yes Ma'am" or "Here you go Ma'am" or "Excuse me Ma'am". I would think. Weird. I am a Ma'am now. When did that happen?
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Coming back from Christmas the little darling completely and entirely puked. Why? Well, I made what I like to call a "stupid-mom-move". I gave a recovering from sickness toddler a full bottle of milk. Why? because she was thirsty. And That's what I had. I am passing out "free appetizer" cards to P.F. Change to the Dad and two boys behind us who got her second-time-up milk on their packs and the was-sleeping man next to me to pacify the situation. Luckily, they were all very very kind and very helpful. As she is heaving all of this just drank milk up and out, a little voice sounding something akin to my own mothers says "milk+sick baby=BAD". The dad I mentioned seemed not to mind. He must be a real dad I think. But I am not a real mom. I am getting closer though. Puke on the plane is most assuredly one step closer. It has to be. Thats what I kept telling myself as I tried to feel embarrassed but mostly really tired and now, really wet.
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Then it happened. Almost 17 months into this adventure of motherhood it happened. For a week or so now Jaed has been off her bottle. She has been in her own bed for months. And she has been sleeping through the night for months. On a typical morning, I sleep in until 9. I am not a real mom yet so I can do that. She is up earlier but she is content  to play until I can rise up from my cozy, warm cocoon. What a good girl I think to myself each morning. However, this morning was different. And oh how I wish I had pictures.

You see, I woke up at 8 and thought we would spend the morning playing and make breakfast for McKay while letting him sleep in. I open the door and knwo what will await me. My doll of a daughter. She holds her hands and smiles real big and makes this sound that reminds me of a monkey but... what is that smell?!!!

My eyes get big as it dawns on me. I open the door even more and survey the scene. Jaed who had run to the door turns around and it is confirmed. POOP! EVERWHERE!

Yes, I am a real mom. I laughed when I saw this scene of brown before me. And my sweet girl was so good to just hold her hands and not play in it as I have heard of kids doing. It was on her three blankets. It was on her play rug. It was on a few toys and a certain stuffed chimpunk. It was on every part of her lower body.
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So much for playing and breakfast. But we will stilllet daddy sleep in. Becuase now, I am a real mom. I can do this. And I can even laugh about this in the moment. Bring it on toddler. You have met your match. I hope.